HEALTHY FAMILY (PARENT - CHILD)

• Read John 15:1-5

  ¹ ‘I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener.² He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful.³ You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you.⁴ Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.

  ⁵ ‘I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.

  , John 15:8

  ⁸ This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.

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A vine had one purpose in the time of Jesus, to produce grapes for wine. There was little to no use for ornamental vines. Pretty and lush leaves, for all their show, were of no value and missed the point. Jesus spoke of Himself as being the One True Vine of God and his followers as branches. He will produce the fruit and everyone who stays connected to him will be a branch that bears fruit. Branches don’t generate fruit, only the vine can do that. Break a branch off the vine and it dries up and dies fruitless. The
vine is the sole source of life and produces fruit on healthy branches.

• The gardener nurtures the vine and helps the healthy fruit bearing branches become even more fruitful. To move from “fruit” to “more fruit” requires pruning - the removal of good things that distract from the main purpose of fruit bearing. When you experience the pain and loss of pruning in your life, rejoice. Cooperate with the Gardener as you abide in Jesus the Vine, knowing His purpose is to move you from “bearing fruit” to “more fruit” to “much fruit” (John 15:2

  ² He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful.

  ). He does this for His glory to show that you are His disciple. (John 15:8

  ⁸ This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.

  ). Live daily in surrender to Jesus because apart from Him you will be fruitless.

• A child must obey parents, except in cases where parents’ expectations conflict with Biblical commands. Examples might include where Jesus remained in the temple once his parents had departed for home (Luke 2:39-52

  ³⁹ When Joseph and Mary had done everything required by the Law of the Lord, they returned to Galilee to their own town of Nazareth.⁴⁰ And the child grew and became strong; he was filled with wisdom, and the grace of God was on him.

  ⁴¹ Every year Jesus’ parents went to Jerusalem for the Festival of the Passover.⁴² When he was twelve years old, they went up to the festival, according to the custom.⁴³ After the festival was over, while his parents were returning home, the boy Jesus stayed behind in Jerusalem, but they were unaware of it.⁴⁴ Thinking he was in their company, they travelled on for a day. Then they began looking for him among their relatives and friends.⁴⁵ When they did not find him, they went back to Jerusalem to look for him.⁴⁶ After three days they found him in the temple courts, sitting among the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions.⁴⁷ Everyone who heard him was amazed at his understanding and his answers.⁴⁸ When his parents saw him, they were astonished. His mother said to him, ‘Son, why have you treated us like this? Your father and I have been anxiously searching for you.’

  ⁴⁹ ‘Why were you searching for me?’ he asked. ‘Didn’t you know I had to be in my Father’s house?’⁵⁰ But they did not understand what he was saying to them.

  ⁵¹ Then he went down to Nazareth with them and was obedient to them. But his mother treasured all these things in her heart.⁵² And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favour with God and man.

  ), or where Jesus remained with his disciples rather than answering his mother’s call for him (Mark. 4:31-35
   
  ). Jesus taught that obedience to His Word could cause division within families (Matthew 10:34-39

  ³⁴ ‘Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword.³⁵ For I have come to turn

  ‘“a man against his father,
      a daughter against her mother,
  a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law –
  ³⁶     a man’s enemies will be the members of his own household.”

  ³⁷ ‘Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.³⁸ Whoever does not take up their cross and follow me is not worthy of me.³⁹ Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it.

  ).

• If problems already exist that are disturbing a families’ harmony, the path to healing begins with confession of sin to God (1 John 1:9

  ⁹ If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

  ) and to the people we have wronged (James 5:16

  ¹⁶ Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.

  ). This results in forgiveness and restoration of broken relationships. Children are responsible to submit to their parents, except when asked to violate God’s revealed word. In those situations, children are expected to obey the Bible. Even in those situations, children must treat their parents with respect. Parents must raise their children in the discipline and encouragement of the Lord and not provoke them. When tempted to respond inappropriately to children or parents, we need to submit our hearts to God and resist. Remember, church leaders should be growing in how they manage their families and raise their children (Titus 1:5-9

  ⁵ The reason I left you in Crete was that you might put in order what was left unfinished and appoint elders in every town, as I directed you.⁶ An elder must be blameless, faithful to his wife, a man whose children believe and are not open to the charge of being wild and disobedient.⁷ Since an overseer manages God’s household, he must be blameless – not overbearing, not quick-tempered, not given to drunkenness, not violent, not pursuing dishonest gain.⁸ Rather, he must be hospitable, one who loves what is good, who is self-controlled, upright, holy and disciplined.⁹ He must hold firmly to the trustworthy message as it has been taught, so that he can encourage others by sound doctrine and refute those who oppose it.

  , 1 Timothy 3:1-7

  ¹ Here is a trustworthy saying: whoever aspires to be an overseer desires a noble task.² Now the overseer is to be above reproach, faithful to his wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach,³ not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money.⁴ He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him, and he must do so in a manner worthy of full respect.⁵ (If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God’s church?)⁶ He must not be a recent convert, or he may become conceited and fall under the same judgment as the devil.⁷ He must also have a good reputation with outsiders, so that he will not fall into disgrace and into the devil’s trap.

  ).